Sunday, June 29, 2014

The American Man

I had been in the need for some extra cash and when an acquaintance of mine told me about a guy who paid generously for people to model for him I jumped at the chance. It wasn’t what people would probably think either. It wasn’t some sleazy porn shoot or anything. He needed people to model for his photos for his projects. He was a student. He went to an art school and was majoring in photography. I think he wanted to do more commercial stuff, because the guy who told me about the job showed me what he had to do. He was just in a suit and sitting at a table. It was a pretty good photograph from what I could tell and I was glad I wouldn’t have to be in like a speedo or something.

I was a big guy, not fat or anything, just tall and…beefy, I guess. I didn’t think he’d even want to hire me though. I wasn’t the most attractive guy. I mean, I wasn’t ugly or anything, just average, and photographers didn’t want to photograph average.

I was 6’4” and 247 pounds. I worked out a lot, but not like extensive cardio or any of those types of exercises. I probably should have, but I didn’t really mind being bigger, I mean, I had been a bigger guy for as long as I could remember. And to be honest, I thought my size made me feel more powerful.

I went to the address I was told about and braced myself for rejection. I didn’t mind it either. I had been rejected enough to know it didn’t matter. I got rejected in high school, college…hell, I was being rejected still. Guys just didn’t like me, and it was partially my fault. I found it hard to navigate the dating scene and I was awful at flirting. I didn’t even know too much about relationships. I had only ever dated three guys, and all three were complete failures in terms of romance.

“Hi.” I looked down at the guy who had opened the door. He was short and fit. He was wearing a pair of Browline glasses. I thought he was cute, totally my type. “Are you here about the modeling job?” he asked.

“Yeah, I am. Are you Quincy Howard?” I asked. He nodded and we shook hands. “I’m Hayden Pierce.” He had soft hands, like a girl, but they were man sized. He seemed really nice, although a bit quiet, but that was cool, I didn’t talk much either. I guess he was just the artsy type. Creativity was pretty hot.

“Do you want to get ready?” he asked. “What I need you to wear is in that room over there.” He pointed towards a door across a hallway we had been walking through. I was a bit shocked. Was he telling me I got the job?

“Uh, I’m going to be modeling for you?” I asked. He smiled at me and nodded. I smiled too. I mean, he picked me, and I needed the money. My desk job just wasn’t enough to pay all the bills anymore.

I walked into the room and an outfit was laid out on a very large chair. It wasn’t a speedo, but it might as well have been. It was a pair of spandex biking shorts and a short sleeved collared shirt. I noticed a bow tie, suspenders, knee high socks, glasses with tape around the middle, and converse sneakers. There were about ten different pairs and I found a pair in my size, 13.

I looked in the mirror, a full length one, and I saw myself blush. I looked…I looked silly. He probably didn’t want somebody like me for this. I was too big for this type of stuff. My arms were ripping the sleeves of the shirt and I couldn’t even fasten the top button.

Quincy was in the hall when I left the dressing room. He looked at me and I heard him breathe in sharply. I bet he wanted somebody different. I knew I said I was okay with my body, but I didn’t showcase myself knowing it’d make me uncomfortable. I had just come to accept it. In middle school I was the fat kid, but then I got really tall and I was the awkward, gangly kid. I couldn’t catch a break, until I started working out. It made me feel good about myself.

“I knew you’d be perfect for this,” he said finally as we walked into another room. Apparently I was perfect. Who knew?

I followed Quincy into another room in what I assumed to be a photography studio. I didn’t know I would be working with other people. I didn’t even know if that made things harder or what. I pushed up the fake glasses and stood where he told me to stand.

The backdrop was a plain white screen and my co-models weren’t very tall. There was a short blond girl dressed as a cheerleader and a guy around her height dressed as a football player. Quincy told them to act infatuated with me. He told me to act confident. The two of them being there made it way more difficult than I could imagine. They seemed like they were judging me. Deep breath.

It was hard. I mean, I was no Mr. Confidence. I flexed my arms a little and the shirt ripped some more. “Good. A little more,” Quincy said. I was sure the other two were doing fine. They were great at acting. I actually thought they might have liked me. They grabbed onto my arms and I lifted the blond girl up and then the guy. Click. New Pose. Click. Click. New Pose. Click. “Okay. I got everything I need,” Quincy said finally.

He paid us, and I thought $350 was overly generous for only an hour and a half of work. I was glad I did it though. I was sort of disappointed I wouldn’t see Quincy anymore after this. He was a nice guy, and if I had to guess he was at least three years younger than me, making him 21.

The other two models had left and I was on my way out too. I told Quincy thanks again and was about to leave, but something told me to ask him out. I mean, he seemed nice and I liked him. I knew he could say no. But what did one more no really matter? It wasn’t like I hadn’t become accustomed to it.

“Would you maybe want to go out sometime?” I asked. He smiled and pushed up his glasses smoothly.

“I’d like that,” he said. “I would’ve asked you but I thought you were straight. I tend not to chase after lost causes. They get kind of weird if you ask them. I mean, I’m like, sorry for finding you attractive.” He gave a slight laugh.

“Where are you headed?” I asked.

“My car’s just up the street. Do you need a lift anywhere?” he asked. I grabbed his bags and I walked with him to his car. It was a little cubed shaped thing in a dark blue color. It was really clean looking. He popped open the back and I set the bags in. “Hey, are you free now?” he asked. “We can grab, uh, something to eat and it’s something I wanted to ask you.”

“Yeah, sure,” I told him. It was a Saturday, and only a little bit after eleven. It wasn’t very spacious in his little cubed car, but I hardly noticed. He drove about twenty minutes and pulled into the parking lot of a small restaurant. We walked inside and got a seat. I tended to stay away from eating out. I couldn’t resist temptation to get the worst thing for me.

“The food’s amazing here,” he said as he glanced over the menu. “I usually get a chicken sandwich, but I’m not all that hungry.” He glanced up at me. “What do you want, my treat.”

“Oh, I don’t know.” I wanted everything. I was starving. I didn’t eat because I didn’t want to look fat or anything in the photos. The unlimited gumbo looked good, but so did the chicken lunch special. “I think the chicken lunch special looks good,” I said with some embarrassment.

“I’ve never had it, but you should try it,” he said. The waitress came and he ordered a salad. I ended up getting the special. I think it was because they would keep bringing chicken as long as you kept eating it. “You know,” he started. “You kind of look like, I don’t know…”

“A gorilla?” I mused. He laughed.

“No, more like a big sexy caveman.” I blushed. My parents would tell me I was a manly-man. I was often mistaken for an adult when I was in high school. I was cougar bait for sure a lot of the times. I had thick eyebrows and a very strong jaw line. I didn’t think of it as attractive. It was embarrassing looking so “old” when everyone else in my freshman class was just starting puberty.  

“Thanks,” I replied. He was too nice. I hadn’t been flirted with like this before, but in all honesty it was really fucking nice.

“I thought you did a great job today. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you weren’t so good looking. I don’t think I would have even finished my project. I would’ve just given up.” He sighed. “I tend to fall for my models. Who wouldn’t? That’s why I pick the models I do in the first place, because they’re my type.” He went silent for a moment.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I’m waiting for you to turn out to be a complete jerk.” He looked at me. “I feel like that’s a characteristic of most hot guys.” He was fiddling with a napkin in his lap. “This guy at my school…he was really, uh, attractive and he was modeling for some of my projects. Now he was a real asshole. Textbook definition. But you know sometimes you can look past a shitty personality for a pretty face.” He took a sip from a glass of water.  “You two don’t look that much alike aside from how big you are, and I think you’re probably taller, but you have that hot guy look.”

“I…I don’t think I’ll turn out to be a jerk,” I said. “And I’m not all that hot.” He smiled and the waitress came up with our food. I must’ve had over ten pieces of chicken, probably over fifteen. I was really hungry, and fried chicken was delicious.

I had to undo the button on my jeans when we got back in his little, cubed car. I was so full. I felt my hand rub against the base of my gut. I definitely needed to work on portion control. He was driving to my place. I had taken the bus this morning to the studio.

“Oh, yeah,” he began as he drove along. “I wanted to ask you if you’d consider helping me with my final project. I’ll pay you for your time and everything.”

“No, you don’t have to do that. I’d love to help you.” He glanced over at me and smiled. “When do you have to get started?”

“It’s due a while from now, but it’s a bit extensive. I just wanted to make sure I’d have a model who was interested,” he paused. “An attractive one.” I felt my face go hot. He wanted me to be his model? I couldn’t believe it. This also meant I’d get to see him at least every week. I was happier about that more than anything.

The first week we met up he described to me his vision. He wanted me to try to get progressively larger throughout his semester culminating in the final image for his project. He called it “The American Man.” That would be about 16 weeks. I was really unsure of the idea. I mean, he wanted me to work out more and eat a fuck ton. I would definitely get fatter than I already was and it was hard enough to keep my weight under control. I didn’t think he realized that most of the weight I would gain would end up making me look like an overfed bull and not a sexy bodybuilder.

“Hayden, I understand your worries about this and I would not blame you at all if you don’t want to do it.” He smiled gently. “I could even change my concept.”

“I wouldn’t want to make you do that. This is the idea you came up with and I’m sure you feel the most confident about it.” We looked at one another. He adjusted his glasses. He had full lips and a cute nose. I hadn’t wanted to kiss someone so badly before.

“I want the transition in the photographs to show the growth of industry in America. It is a representation of corporate masculinity and the changing model of American business.” I didn’t really get how that was going to be shown through photographs but he sounded really into it and like he knew what he was talking about. “So a photo-shoot a week?” he asked. I agreed. We set up a time to meet at that studio from the first time we met. It’d be in five days. I had to start hitting the gym longer after work.

I drank more protein and ate more and lifted harder. I was pretty sore for the first time in a long time. I hadn’t felt that way in months. I actually really liked it. I put on five pounds that first week. I didn’t know if it was from all my hard work or if it was just a fluke. I was at about 254 pounds and felt good. My belly was a little more noticeable than I would have liked but I had to keep up my eating to get larger. I may have also been able to keep weight on from sitting on my ass for eight hours a day making phone calls. I was more than excited to see Quincy on the day of the shoot.

“Hey there,” he greeted me. He had a beautiful smile. I found myself smiling back as well. He put me in such a good mood. “Your outfit is in that room over there.” It was the same room as before. I went to go and change into some colonial getup. It was looser than my last outfit, which I found myself slightly disappointed by.

I wanted him to see my efforts. I wanted him to say he liked what he saw. I wondered if by the end of this project if he’d be disgusted by me. I felt he could have just been a nice guy who enjoyed giving out compliments. That made me more nervous about our relationship. I was falling for him and he probably just saw me as some guy he had convinced to help him with some bizarre concept.

After the shoot was over and I had changed into modern day clothing we parted. It was just like that. I was shocked he didn’t offer to hang out or anything. Perhaps I should have been the one to initiate something? Either way it really fucking sucked. I ended up going to the gym. I was there for over four hours. It felt good to get some of my frustrations out. And boy was I frustrated.

When I got home I was starving. I had two protein shakes and then I ordered an extra-large pizza and cheese bread. I loved carbs man. I could eat bread for hours. It arrived after I ate a huge bag of trail mix. More protein of course. It was a fuck ton of calories in trail mix, surprisingly.

I sat stuffed on the sofa for a good hour watching some TV show about these women who killed their significant others. It was very dramatic. It was around seven by this point and I wanted something to snack on so I got some peanut butter and a spoon. It was depressing me thinking about how much I was eating, but only after I had finished over half of the jar. I placed both hands on my stomach and squeezed the excess meat. I was getting fat a lot faster than I thought I would. I mean, I knew I’d get larger…but not this fat, this soon.

But what did it matter? I was alone. I was going to be alone. I needed to accept that. I took a shower and got into bed. Tomorrow would be another workout and another day of me overeating. I didn’t even want to stop at this point.

The second week he dressed me in clothing better suited for the 1700’s and the week after that he had me dress as a slave-owner. It was awkward. Like really, really awkward. He was in the picture with me and it was just really awkward. He was really good at finding ways to push the envelope. He talked about activism a lot. He was a very opinionated quiet person and I think I liked that about him. Someone being passionate about things was interesting.

By this point I had accepted I was just a guy with a crush. I had gained another 9 pounds and I really wished he’d say he noticed and that he liked it. Quincy never mentioned my attractiveness anymore. I had come to accept that when he was telling me how hot I was it was to butter me up to help him out. I didn’t want to believe that but that’s what it looked like.

He asked me if I wanted to get something to eat after week four. Eating had become a specialty of mine. I was now 271 pounds. It was astonishing. At least Quincy was getting what he wanted in his photos. We had just done a shoot for the late 1800’s and in my everyday clothes my gut stuck out and I wore a pair of gym sweats. My jeans weren’t feeling it this morning. I accepted his offer.

“You know, actually,” he began. “Do you think we could go back to my apartment?” He looked nervous. I felt nervous. I agreed and we rode off in his little cubed car.

“Do you think the project’s going okay?” I asked.

“Yeah, definitely. I think it’s going fantastic.” He turned onto a street and into a parking lot for an apartment building. “This is it,” he said. We both exited his car and I followed him up to the door of what appeared to be a six story apartment complex. “I’m on the first floor.”

We went inside and I immediately noted that his walls had numerous posters of famous photographs and pictures in his distinct style. There was a photo of him and two other black guys. They all were smiling and it looked like a fun day. They were both just as handsome as he was. “Are these your brothers?” I asked.

“Yeah, Peter and Benjamin.” He stood next to me and I wanted to grab him and kiss him and do other really, and I mean really, sexual things. “Those are my parents.” He pointed at a picture near the one we were looking at. They were both really attractive too. I saw why he wasn’t struggling in the looks department. His mom had a lot of hair. It was very large and curly. His dad wore glasses as well and had a well-defined jaw line and one hell of a smile. It looked like an ad for toothpaste.

“I think my family would lose in a pretty competition,” I said. He laughed.

“You really need to give yourself more credit,” Quincy said seriously. “You really are a gorgeous guy.” We were not looking at one another and for a moment silence hung heavy in the air. He grabbed my hand and led me over to his sofa. He looked at me very intently. He took off his glasses and placed them on the coffee table an arm’s length away. He sat on his knees facing me. He touched my chest and my heart raced. “You have an incredible body.” He looked nervous and I knew I looked nervous. “Your eyebrows are so sexy. They’re fucking intense. Like they draw your focus. In the photos I’ve taken they make you look…extraordinary.” He said extraordinary like he meant it. I believed what he was saying. Like he truly meant it.

“I…th…thanks,” I said, face reddening.

“Oh, it’s my pleasure. You see, I could go on and on. Let’s see, you have such a strong jaw line. It’s hot. Like super-hot. And the way you’re blushing? Driving me wild here, Hayden. And your butt, like that’s just got to stop being so perfect. If it wouldn’t turn my project into pornography I probably would have you posing naked just for me…” his face showed embarrassment. “I’m sorry, that was so creepy.”

“You want me to pose naked, huh?” I asked with a smile. “I don’t know if I’m ready for all of that yet.” He laughed.

“Can we make out or what? This sexual tension is killing me.”

“C’mere,” I said in a masculine, gruff sort of way. It was my attempt at sexiness. I think it might have worked. Quincy’s face looked like he was turned on and he shimmied on over to me. We kissed for a while and Quincy soon found his shirt on the floor near the coffee table. His brown skin was warm and my hand held his thin waist.

“Can…I, uh, take your shirt off?” he asked. I nodded and wished I focused more on building lean muscle then getting to this brick-wall status. He pulled my shirt over my head and I heard him gasp slightly. His hand found my stomach and his eyes widened. Disgust? Arousal? I couldn’t tell and every compliment he had given me earlier was no longer in play. I felt his hand rub a stretch mark on my love handle. “Okay, no judgment?” he asked.

“Uh, no judgment,” I replied.

“I want to look at you and rub my hands all over your body forever.”

The next thing I knew we were in his room. He shimmied out of his jeans and I saw his muscular legs and tight ass. His bulge was more than impressive, almost intimidating. “You…you’re dick is huge.” His face reddened slightly. He then pulled off his briefs and his penis sprang free. I was getting even harder than I thought possible.

"Your turn," he said as he walked closer to me. His hands found my waist and he traced along my sides until he could undo the string on my sweats. He pulled my pants, as well as my boxer briefs, to the floor. He had maybe three inches on my penis, and I was about 6 inches. "Do you need me to bottom?" he asked.

“No, no…you can top,” I replied. He smiled. He went over to his dresser and grabbed a condom and some lube. I felt incredibly fat near him. I felt out of place in his cute, modern apartment. Everything was so perfectly sized for him. He was about average height and his body was amazing. I stood naked as he put the condom on his penis.

He came over to where I stood and placed his hand on my chest. I looked into his almond shaped, brown eyes. He was really handsome. He placed his lips on my chest and kissed it. His mouth found my left nipple and he lightly teased it with his tongue. He bit it a little and my penis throbbed. His hand rubbed my belly as he did it. I felt myself moan. “Uh, that’s nice,” I said.

He sat on the bed and told me to sit on top and ride him. I swallowed and made my way over to him. I heard his bed creak as I got on. For a moment I leaned over him. We kissed one another. He smiled. We kissed again. I could feel my stomach hanging down. I had gotten so fat. I couldn’t believe he could even get hard for me. He was already lubed up and I guided his penis inside of me. He began to move his hips slightly. I felt my stomach jiggle. He reached out and grabbed it. He played with it as I moved my hips back and forth. “You’re so fucking hot,” he said. I moaned in response.

I had had sex before, but this was different. I, for the most part, was enjoying it. With my past boyfriends things never felt so intimate. His hands found their way to my ass cheeks. He palmed my bubble butt and thrust his hips a bit harder. My ass must have been larger than I thought. His palms weren’t covering nearly as much surface area as I was expecting. He gave my butt a squeeze as well. He slapped my left ass cheek and thrust harder. He did it again. I felt my face redden. I was getting turned on more and more by the minute. “Oh shit, I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I got carried away.”

“I like…it,” I said, almost breathlessly. I leaned down and my stomach pressed against his abs. He let out a moan this time and thrust a bit more enthusiastically. I met his lips with mine. He had the nicest full lips. In this position my penis rubbed against his warm stomach and my belly fat. We went a bit longer and I felt myself come. Semen spurted out for what felt like an eternity and he kicked it into overdrive. Moments later he bucked his hips a final time and I felt cum fill his condom. His body relaxed and he removed his penis from inside of me.

I laid next to him. He scooted closer to me and placed his head on my chest. I put my arm around him and pulled him in even closer. “I really like you,” he said. “And I want you to know that you’re one of the greatest guys I’ve ever gotten to know.” Well, damn. To think I thought he wasn’t interested. “Plus you’re fucking gorgeous.”

“You are too much,” I said with a laugh. “You shouldn’t be behind a camera; you should be in front of one.”

“I’d rather be the one watching you.” He sat up and pulled the condom off. He tied it up. “Can…can I be honest with you?” he asked. That was never followed by anything positive.

So what Quincy told me gave me a lot to think about. He didn’t actually need me to get larger for his project. He didn’t need me for 16 weeks, only about 10 at the most. And the final thing he told me before I left was that he was into something called gaining and that he was something called an encourager.

I didn’t know how to feel. He told me to be at the studio in four days if I was still interested in trying a relationship. I didn’t really mind all that much to be honest. I was larger and he liked it. It was something that I had come to enjoy about myself by being with him. He even constructed this project to keep me around.

Thinking back on it, his face was hilariously frightened as he told me all of these things. Maybe that was a downside to liking such a big, muscular guy. I’d never hurt him or anything like that. I felt myself smiling thinking about him getting hard each week due to my expanding middle.

The four days I did not see Quincy I spent going to work, eating constantly, and working out at the gym. I didn’t think that there was a time I was not full. I ate and ate. Lifted hard. I was so excited the day I was going to meet Quincy. It would be a Wednesday. I left work an hour early to get a workout in and had a large meal before heading over to the studio.

I took public transportation, and I wanted to show Quincy how much I liked him and that I was open to the weight gaining thing, but I was still embarrassed on the bus. I wore a too small college sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants so tight they consistently found a way for my ass to hang out.

I found my way to the door of the studio and knocked. Quincy answered the door and his mouth hung open. Was I overdoing it? I felt my face burn red and placed a hand on my gut. “Uh, I’m ready to take the pictures for you,” I said. “If that’s okay.”

He pounced on me, making me lean down to kiss him. We stood close to one another and I could feel his sizable dick pressing against my leg through his jeans. I felt myself laugh. “Come inside,” he said. His glasses were slightly off center. I laughed again. I was really fucking elated. “You came. I’m so glad you came.”

“You got me growing this big so you better keep me.” He smiled wide and kneeled down to his knees. He lifted my sweatshirt up over my gut and kissed around my belly button. That was nice. I was 279 pounds as of this morning. I felt my penis stiffen and he pulled the sweats down slightly. He took my member in his hand and slightly jerked it. His lips found the head and he sucked skillfully. I felt my knees buckle slightly.

“We have to go to the dressing room,” he said. He stood up and grabbed my hand. He led me to the dressing room where I saw my outfit for the day would be fitting of the early 1900’s. I would be a tycoon of sorts. He finished sucking me off and I didn’t want to take the photos anymore. I just wanted to lay back and spoon. I got dressed anyway and we took the photos.

“So can I buy you dinner?” he asked.

“You think you’ll have enough?” I asked. I could tell I was turning him on. He was getting flustered. He adjusted his cock and we made our way to his cubed car. I remember riding in it before, but now it was really uncomfortable for me. I adjusted the seat so it was as far back as it would go. My knees still hit the glove compartment and the seatbelt was especially constricting. I could tell he was getting a kick out of this.

We ended up grabbing something from a drive-thru and headed back to his apartment. He ordered more than enough food, but I knew I could eat it all. Hearing him ask for an extra order of fries and extra cheese on the burgers was giving me a boner. The thought of being attractive to him for being a fat ass was really appealing. It was nearly unbelievable. I felt my hand rub my gut. It felt good. I was feeling less self-conscious. I was feeling confident.

The weeks continued to roll by and thanksgiving came and went. I was over 300 pounds by the date of the last photo shoot. My favorite periods to shoot were the 60’s and the 80’s. This shoot would be current day. I saw the suit I was to wear and couldn’t believe how tight it looked.

I got dressed and looked at myself in a mirror in the dressing room. I could barely recognize myself. I had become a beast. My shoulders had become incredibly wide and my neck was so thick it looked as though I had lost it. My stomach pushed the button on the suit jacket to its breaking point. My ass was titanic. I had always had a bit of a huge ass, but this was something completely different. My thighs were thick and powerful. My arms had never been bigger. I felt so good. It was the strangest thing I had ever experienced. Looking at this huge monstrous guy in the mirror I never felt that I had looked better.

I went into the room where the pictures were to be taken and Quincy took in a sharp intake of breath, like when we first met. I laughed. Things were just too perfect. I walked over to him and gave him a kiss on his lips. “You ready?” I asked. He nodded.

I went over to the backdrop and posed. “Try to look smug and very nonchalant,” he said. I took his direction. I attempted to move a certain way and the button on the suit jacket was lost. “That’s good,” he said. “Stand like a superhero,” he suggested. I took my hands and made fists. I placed them on my waist and my arms burst the shirt under the suit jacket. We both heard it tearing. I know we did. This went on for maybe twenty minutes and we were finally done.

“Let’s get out of here,” I said.

“Yeah, c’mon,” Quincy replied. We had to take his little cubed car. I was not excited. I hated the cubed car. I barely fit. I knew he was looking at me as I backed my ass into his car. I could feel the air on my ass, so I could tell my sweats needed to be upgraded even more desperately.

The car momentarily shook and settled into a slight dip on the passenger’s side. He reached over and rubbed my belly. We were soon at his apartment. Clothes were removed quickly and thrown about his the place like we were savages. I dwarfed him now and it was strange and arousing. His svelte, muscled frame was still so attractive. We kissed for a moment on his sofa. He laid on top of me.

I got up suddenly, grabbing him and tossing him over my shoulder. We made our way to his bedroom. “Me, Hayden. You, Quincy,” I said jokingly as I tossed him onto the mattress.

“Mmm, sexy caveman.” He smiled. “Condoms are in the drawer over there. You’re on top tonight.” I went and prepped myself to sex him up. I walked back over to him and placed my hand on my stomach. I flexed my pecs and I could see he was excited. He sat on the bed and I went over to him and flipped him over, albeit a bit roughly.

His ass was great. He had a nice, shapely bubble butt that was large for his size, but nowhere near as gargantuan as mine. I could feel my gut pressing into his back. He let out moans frequently and I was having a great time. I held onto his waist firmly. I pushed harder and he said that he was coming. I felt my release approaching as well. We both finished and got cleaned up.

“You know,” he began. “I still get hard looking at the progression of those photos. I have no idea how I’m going to present them to the board to see if I can get them in the exhibition.”

“Do they just make you horny or are you actually confident in their merit?” I asked with a chuckle. He smiled.

“I’m going to have to say both things are true.” I looked over at him. He really was cute. I hoped things would continue to work out for us. I wanted us to spend a lot more time with one another. “I’m still going to see you, aren’t I? I’ve wanted to ask you about next steps. Like, if you wanted to move in or whatever.”

“I’d like that,” I said. “And you know, I think I might be ready for those nude photographs.” We both laughed and he offered to make me something to eat.

The End!

Friday, December 30, 2011

Harvey

I was six years old when I received my first marriage proposal. It was silly to be honest. We were just kids, but it was a nice gesture. I hadn't ever thought about marriage, but I didn't give it a second thought when I said yes. I mean, I was only six.

Wes and I were the same age. We were in the park under the jungle gym when he proposed. He actually kissed me too, but made me promise not to ever tell. He said he would hit me if I told anyone. I grabbed his hand and dragged him over to my mom and his grandmother. I told them that we were going to get married.

Wes was holding onto my hand. I mean, like really holding onto my hand. He held on tightly and I remember it kind of hurt, but I didn't ever want us not to be connected like that. They said we couldn't get married because we were too young. I found out there was another reason we couldn't get married later on.

We grew apart slowly after that. He was always into football and sports. I didn't even know how to throw a football, and in a small farm town, football was everything. My interest in the cello didn't measure up; I was the only person in town who played it.

Another thing happened between me and Wes. It was in the eighth grade, at a boy-girl party. It was my first boy-girl party. The only reason I went was to just see what it was like.

"Spin the bottle!?" One girl howled. "This isn't the 60's!" Everyone laughed.

"You don't have to play Kaylie, just shut it and let the rest of us have some fun." Some people sat around the circle but I somehow managed to be included in the game. There were six boys and five girls. A boy and a girl would kiss and everyone would roll with laughter. It was my turn and the bottle spun around several times before it pointed to Wes.

At that point we didn't speak on the regular, but he had never been mean to me or anything. We locked eyes in the smoky-aired basement of Hailey Abbot. I glanced away, my face red and hot.

"Gross, that's so gay!"

"Kiss anyway!"

"Spin again! Spin again!"

"Kiss. Kiss. Kiss."

Wes leaned across the circle, lingering for a moment, and kissed me on the forehead. I had an erection; I remember that, because I was embarrassed. I was happy. I was happy that Wes had kissed me, but I was embarrassed. Everyone laughed again. Crisis averted.

"Harvey!" I sat up in bed, glancing over at my clock. It was seven thirty. I was going to be late for school. "Are you up!?" I hopped out of bed.

"I'm up, I'm up!" I found a pair of jeans and a Roosevelt High hooded sweatshirt. I brushed my teeth and washed my face. My hair would just have to do...ugh! I stayed an extra five minutes trying to make it look nice. I needed a haircut.

I grabbed my bag and ran down the stairs, out the door, and the two blocks to Roosevelt High. I made it just in time for first period. First period was Art IV. I chose Art over Music because they only let you play four different instruments in Music, none of which being the cello. My cello belonged to my father. He died before I was born, but I know he was about my size and that he taught English.

Today we were painting a still life of cubes and spheres. I noticed Wes and a couple of other guys were absent, but they were always late. They, however, never got in trouble for it. They played football.

"Mr. Lennox, Mr. Jacobs, Mr. Greene, you all are late." I looked up at Wes, John, and Freddy.

"Uh, yeah, Sorry," said Freddy. "Morning workouts ran long."

"Just take a seat gentlemen," Mrs. Keilman said with a sigh. Wes sat down across from me and started sketching the cubes. I didn't say anything.

He was pure farm boy. He had a brush cut type of hairstyle and he was a honey blond. He had icy blue eyes and a masculine jaw. I hated myself for looking at him. I hated myself for noticing his broad shoulders and beefy chest. I hated myself for noticing how he walked because he was so large. I hated it all. I hated this town, and these people, and feeling so constricted. I even hated myself.

After school I went to the library. I needed to check out some books on the World Wars. It was for my history class. Nobody was ever in the library. I walked over to the history section and started looking through the shelves. I saw a really good looking book that was on the top shelf, curse my short stature. I didn't see a stool or anything.

Nobody was in there so I just started to climb the shelf. I wondered why book shelves were always so tall. I was sort of shimmying over a bit and my foot missed an open space and I fell backwards. I stumbled and I felt myself caught before I could fall completely. I was stood upright and I felt a belly press into my back as they reached behind me to grab the book I was attempting to grab.

I turned around; my body was so close to his. I noticed how excited I was getting and stepped back. I looked up into Wes's blue eyes. "Oh, uh, sorry," I said timidly. "Thanks for getting that though..." I tried to grab the book, but he lifted it over his head.

He smiled at me and laughed. I wanted to laugh, but I was...angry. I didn't even know why. "Keep it," I said unkindly before I ran out of the library. I was mad and I didn't get it. I was sure he was just messing around with me. He wasn't trying to be mean or anything.

Why wasn't he at practice anyway? Oh yeah, when they had morning workouts they got to go home after school. But why was he in the library? He wasn't the brightest bulb in the bunch. I went inside and grabbed my cello. I made my way to the back porch and sat down. I started to play. I heard nothing aside from my music. I was really getting into it too. My mom came and told me I had to go and meet our new neighbors.

"Nobody ever moves here!" I told her. "What house was even vacant?" I put my cello back in its case and followed my mom back into the house.

"You know Mrs. Flanner died three months ago. It's her house that was vacant." She picked up a brown paper bag and I knew she had baked them something. My mom rarely baked, but if it was to make a good impression she'd bake up a storm.

I made the trek two houses over to our new neighbor's house. I wondered if they were really old and looking for a quiet place to die. That was awful and I hoped they weren't old. I rang the doorbell. I flattened my brown hair and waited. I heard someone come to the door. I heard the lock.

"Hello?" It was a guy. He looked to be around my age. He was tall and stocky. I think he was black. I was pretty sure he was the first black guy in town in a long time. He was gorgeous. He had light brown skin and a faded haircut. He had large, deep chocolate eyes, and full lips.

"Yes, I hope I'm not bothering you. My name is Harvey. I live two houses over and I just wanted to introduce myself." He smiled at me. Oh god I was nervous. "I brought a cake too."

"Come inside." He had a deep voice. I followed him into the house. There were boxes everywhere and ill-placed pieces of furniture. I had only been in Mrs. Flanner's house one time before.

"Dante, where is your brother..." He glanced over at me. "Oh, hello there," he said, voice just as deep as Dante's.

"Oh yes, hi. My name is Harvey. My mother and I live two houses over." He smiled at me too. I was so nervous. I hated talking to new people. "I brought you guys a cake. I'm pretty sure it's lemon."

"Thank you. My name is Paul. I assume you've met Dante and I have another son named Tony." I set the cake on the counter. "You two can go talk or something. I'll find your brother."

We went outside and I kind of wanted to leave. I was being nervous and acting all jumpy. I didn't talk to cute guys often. I barely talked period. We walked back to my house. My mom was on the porch reading something. She looked up at us and smiled. We walked over to her and they talked, so I luckily got to just listen.

His mom died last year, cancer. My mom told him my dad died in a car crash. They moved for his dad's work. My mom told him that he was her new boss. My mom worked in a doctor's office. She was a nurse/receptionist.

Dante went home after asking if we could go to school together. I agreed and told him I'd meet him at his house at seven thirty. That meant I actually had to get up on time.

I was running late! I had set my alarm, but I kept pressing the snooze button. I had to learn to get up. I had fifteen minutes. I took the quickest shower in the history of showerdom. I brushed my teeth while I was in the shower and dried my hair to the best of my ability. It was still really wet, but I got dressed and hurried to meet Dante.

I was only five minutes late, but I saw Dante and who I assumed to be his younger brother, Tony, in front of my house. I ran up to them quickly. I felt bad for being late, but it was only five minutes.

"Hi, I'm really sorry that I'm late." I turned to Tony. "I'm Harvey; it's really nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you Harvey, I'm Tony." Tony was taller than me, but shorter than Dante. Dante was also much larger than Tony was. Tony was kind of lanky. We began walking and they'd ask me questions about Roosevelt High and I tried answering them all.

When we got there I directed them to the main office because they had to check in and get their schedules. I sat on a bench outside of the principal's office and waited for them, in case they might have needed me. I felt like a troublemaker on this bench. I felt someone sit down next to me. I looked over to my right and saw Wes was also on the bench.

"Uh, hey Harvey," he said. "I just wanted to give ya your book back. I didn't try and make ya angry, honestly. I'm really sorry." He handed me the book on the World Wars. "Sorry." He gave me a nervous half-smile and I turned my gaze away from him. He was so cute.

"It's fine. Thanks, Wes." Just then Dante and Tony walked out of the office. Tony looked in my direction and I stood up. "Talk to you later, uh, Wes," I said. I walked over to them both and I glanced back at Wes, still sitting on the bench for troublemakers, watching the three of us.

"Can I see your schedules?" They both handed me the white sheets of paper. "Tony, your schedule is pretty good, except you got Mr. James for Freshmen Bio, he's awful." He groaned slightly. I laughed. I flipped to Dante's schedule. We had mostly the same classes. "We have nearly the same schedule, well except you're taking Music."

"Really? Cool." He smiled and I smiled back like I was dim. He turned to Tony. "See you later Tone, have a great day."

"Yeah, yeah. Bye. Thanks for all your help Harvey." He nodded towards me.

"No problem, have a good day." He walked off to Biology and Dante and I were alone in the hall. "Well, I will see you in English. Have fun in Music."

"Thanks. What class do you take, like, instead of Music?" he asked.

"I take Art IV," I said. "Music is awful." The bell rang and I hadn't realized it was already eight ten. I yelled my goodbye and sprinted to class. "Mrs. Keilman I am so sorry I'm late. It...it won't happen ever again. I promise." She smiled.

"It's fine, if they can favor the football players, I can favor my own group of students as well." I smiled and thanked her. I took my seat, across from Wes. We were still drawing the cubes and spheres.

"Who were those guys you were talking to?" he asked.

"New friends of mine, why?"

"I was just wonderin', that's all." I took out my drawing and pencils. I looked at the cubes and spheres, but they were at a different angle than yesterday. They weren't supposed to be at a different angle.

"Did you...move the basket?" I asked, a little pissed off.

"Yeah, I didn't like the other angle." I sighed, and ripped out my drawing. "What's wrong?" he asked, and I knew he was genuinely concerned. He didn't know moving the basket would change my view of the cubes and spheres.

"I was drawing them too, but from my point of view, but now that you've moved the basket..."

"Oh, no, I didn't mean...I'm really..." He looked at my nearly completely picture. "Sorry."

"It's okay, I just have to come in during lunch. Just don't move the subject around again."

"I won't." He was so cute. It was like he was a little kid who had spilled some milk, or a puppy that had accidentally ruined a garden. His eyes got all sad and he pouted a little and I felt sorry for HIM, even though he had inconvenienced me. I smiled to myself and started a new drawing.

We walked home after school and they told me all about their first day at Roosevelt High. I didn't think it was as much fun as their old school in New York, but I hoped they wouldn't hate it completely. We passed their house first, so we parted there and I walked on home. I took out my cello after getting a glass of water.

I sat on the back porch and began playing the Moonlight Sonata. I always felt like I looked crazy or something the way I got into it. I really liked the song. It made me a bit depressed and gave me an eerie feeling. I finished and started it up again.

Halfway through, I heard something added onto my cello's rendition. It was the sound of a violin. I stopped playing and looked into my yard where Dante stood holding a violin. He stopped playing and smiled at me. He had been playing along with me.

"You play violin?" I asked, already knowing he must be able to play.

"Yeah, and guitar...I thought you said you didn't like music."

"No, I don't like the class. Everybody likes music!" He laughed. I offered him a seat on the porch. He came and sat next to me on the small bench we had on our back porch. It was a little close. He was really wide. I could feel his thigh touch mine. I noticed his belly resting in his lap. "Can we play that one again?" I asked. He nodded and we started.

We played for another hour and we finally stopped. It was wonderful. I never had gotten the opportunity to play with someone else. It was amazing. I got him a glass of lemonade and we sat on the little bench and talked. He told me about how he heard me playing from his bedroom and rushed over to see if it was me, violin in tow. The conversation led to his mom.

"Yeah, it was hard when she died. It was the first time I had ever seen my dad cry. It was awful. I quit the basketball team. I couldn't handle it. Tony just got busy. He did every activity he could. He did quit playing the trumpet. Our mom's the one who convinced him to play it." He sighed. "She played violin too."

"My dad played the cello...," I said absent-mindedly. He looked over at me and smiled softly. Such a beautiful smile...I smiled back. "So, you quit playing basketball?"

"Yeah, and I started eating." He laughed. "Can't you tell? Well, I guess you don't know what I used to look like. It's bad; I've put on thirty pounds in a year. My dad put on some weight too. Tone's the only one who hasn't gotten fat."

"I don't think you look bad," I said. "I mean, I think you look really strong. It's not like you're not attractive. I mean, you look really good..." I hadn't meant to say that. I felt my heart beat really fast and I turned my head away from him.

"I think that...you look really cute, and that maybe you might, uh, like someone strong and somewhat attractive." He was looking at me. I could feel his eyes. He was being serious. I couldn't believe that he was being serious. He put his large hand on my shoulder and I turned to look at him. He leaned forward and kissed me.

My first non-Wes related kiss. It was soft and warm and lasted a lifetime. I didn't want it to end. We stopped kissing and he looked at me with his large brown eyes. I knew my face was covered in a blush. I didn't think he was...gay.

"I wondered if there would be any guys that were...you know, here." He smiled. "I hope you don't mind me kissing you so suddenly." Oh, I didn't mind at all!

"No, I liked it." Smile.

"I'm glad the guy I found was so cute." He leaned forward to kiss me again. "I'll see you tomorrow. Bye." He stood up and made his way towards his house. I had never felt so happy in my entire life. That was a real first kiss. It was the most exciting experience in my entire life and I was fortunate enough to kiss such an attractive guy. I couldn't wait to see him again.

School the next day was boring. I hung out with Dante and Tony afterwards and it was kind of awkward. Dante and I would look at each other and give nervous half-smiles, but other than that we both mainly talked to Tony.

"Harvey, can we talk?" Art had just ended and I had to get to English. Wes looked at me with his beautiful, blue, puppy dog eyes. I melted on the inside and I walked next to him on our way to class.

"Yeah, of course. What's up Wes?" I asked. He laughed nervously and I wanted to hold his hand like when we were kids. My face got hot.

"So, what's the new kid like?" He was asking about Dante? I was disappointed, but I didn't have a reason to be. It was weird. What had I expected him to say?

"He's nice," I said. My lips tingled a little. Dante sure was a good kisser. "His brother is nice too," I added.

"Oh, okay. I was just wonderin'," he said. We were almost to the English classroom. "Can I see ya after school today?" he asked suddenly. I nodded and he smiled like I had just done him a huge favor.

I spent the rest of the day perplexed by Wes's strange behavior. He had never really talked to me before, or had ever even wanted to for that matter. I was just invisible to him. We were in two different social classes. We were just too different...but so were Dante and I. We were even more different than one another. I was so confused.

They had had morning workouts that morning so after school I went to find Wes by his locker. "Wes, uh, hi," I said. He smiled again. "What's up?" He slung his bag over his meaty shoulder and walked closer to me.

"You wanna go for a ride?" he asked. I was going to try and catch up with Dante and Tony, but Wes seemed to have to tell me something important. I nodded and I followed him out to the parking lot. He drove a pickup truck like almost every other guy in town. His was red and white with a couple of rust spots.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked. We sat in his truck. His hands were shaking as he gripped the steering wheel. He was...nervous? He laughed nervously and I almost burst out laughing at how red he was getting. He was so handsome, even with the obvious fear on his face. He looked over at me and took a deep breath.

"Ha...Harvey, I was just wonderin' if ya might wanna go...go and see a movie with me sometime." I felt my eyebrows rise in shock. Did he just ask me out on a date? "I'm sorry...I...just forget I even asked." He started his pickup. "I'll just take you home and we can just forget this ever even happened."

"Wes..." he was on the brink of tears. He was terrified of asking me out on a date. I felt my stomach flutter with butterflies. "I don't like scary movies." He smiled a half-smile and nodded.

"Do ya wanna see that new musical drama? I know ya like the ce...cello." I smiled. He knew I liked the cello. "We can go this weekend...Saturday."

"This Saturday sounds nice." He parked in front of my house. He lived a ways away from my place. He and his grandparents lived on a farm on the outer limits of town. He helped out with the farm work when he wasn't practicing for football.

"I'll tell ya all the details tomorrow." I got out of his truck and waved as he pulled off. I heard him shout "Yes!" as he drove away. I could feel my face radiating warmth and I knew I must've been blushing something fierce.

The next day in Art Wes smiled at me. He even said good morning. I smiled back and we just finished our drawings.

Lunchtime was always hectic at our school. I found Dante and sat across from him at a table. "Hey Dante," I said. He gave a smile and I noticed it wasn't especially cheery.

"Hi Harvey," he replied. I picked at my fruit cup as he ate a sandwich from a sack lunch. I offered him half of my pizza and he happily agreed to take it off of my hands. "You want to go see a movie with me and Tone this Saturday?" he asked. I nearly choked on my lemonade.

"This Saturday?" I asked stupidly. He nodded.

"I can have the car and stuff too, so if you maybe, want to drop Tony off we could go get something to eat after." Damn.

I had almost forgotten what happened between Dante and I. Wes...Dante...too many guys. I had none, but then I had two. I wasn't Dante's boyfriend was I? But I liked him...but I liked Wes too.

"I can't. I'm sorry," I said. He frowned. "Maybe some other time..."

"I don't have to bring Tony; it could just be us if that's the problem." I made him think I didn't like Tony? Tony was cool, he definitely wasn't the problem. I looked at Dante and smiled sadly. I knew I was disappointing him. He had his chocolate chip eyes focused on me and I had to look away.

He took up a lot of space the chairs we had in the lunch room offered. He was a bit taller than Wes, but not as beefy. He wasn't as muscled either, but I could tell he had worked out in some point in his life. "Tony's not a problem...I'm just busy. My mom and I have to do something." He nodded slightly and grabbed his trash.

He was wearing a loose fitting pair of blue jeans and a black t-shirt. It had a musical note...an alto clef, on the chest. In cursive letters it said "New York High School of the Arts." His chest was muscular, but I noticed a slight sag to it. His belly jutted out, pulling the fabric of the shirt. I got the feeling it was an older shirt. "I'll talk to you later," he said. He stood up and I looked at his butt as he walked away. He had an amazing bubble butt. It looked large and meaty even though his pants were loose fit.

He shoved his trash into the garbage shoot angrily. I wished I wasn't in some weird love triangle that wasn't even a love triangle at all. Wes had practice after school so I walked home with the Kinkle brothers. "Harvey, are you going to the movies with us this Saturday?" Tony asked. I looked at Dante, who told him to drop it in a low voice.

I felt awful, but it was not like I could tell him I had a date with another guy. That would just make things even more awkward. I made it home after saying my goodbyes. "Harvey, what are you doing this Saturday?" my mother asked. "Because I'm having grownup company and I need the house until midnight."

"Grownup company?" I laughed. "I'm going to a movie this Saturday," I told her.

"With Paul's kids?" she asked. "Because, uh, that's who is coming over on Saturday. We're going to be having dinner." My mother blushed. She and Dr. Kinkle...were going to be busy Saturday night. Dante must've known I lied to him, about having to do something with my mom.

I was such an idiot! That was why he was so upset. He knew I was lying to him and I guess that really surprised him.

On Saturday around seven Wes rang my doorbell. I was really excited. I told my mom I wouldn’t be in before midnight and left. Something about Wes had been nagging at me for some time. He had never attempted to ask me out…or talk to me for that matter. I didn’t even know he was gay.

“Wes…,” I started. “Why did you ask me out now? I mean…I’ve liked you for a really long time and everything, but I didn’t even think you remembered my name.”

“I was too nervous,” he said. “You’re so smart and stuff. I mean, I can’t play any type of instrument or do math problems. I prolly sound really stupid to ya and I just get so nervous. Like when I messed up your drawin’ in Art class. It looked like ya wanted to kick my ass.” I laughed and he smiled.

“But how come you weren’t too nervous now?” I asked.

“I was real jealous of that new fella,” he said. “I could tell he liked you and I…I didn’t want to miss my chance.” Wes was jealous of Dante, but I was pretty sure Dante hated me now. I sighed. Wes and I walked side by side into the movie theater. “Two for Nefarious,” he requested. I had wanted to see this movie for a while. We took our tickets and he offered to get snacks.

“Oh, I don’t need anything…but if you maybe wanted to get something,” I suggested. He smiled at me and I felt guilty about having such a good time. I felt guilty about lying and it made having a good time really hard.

“Gran gave me a bunch of cash when I told her I was going on a date,” he said. His voice was deep, but incredibly sweet and wholesome. He bought a gigantic thing of popcorn ‘In case you might want some,’ he said. He also got a soda and some chocolate covered peanuts. He carried the popcorn and soda and I held onto the peanuts.

We went into the theater and found seats. The previews hadn’t even started yet. As the lights dimmed I saw Tony and Dante walk in. They scanned the theater for seats and I moved in closer to Wes, trying to hide. They sat a ways away, thankfully. Wes didn’t notice why I was freaking out. “You okay?” he asked. “This isn’t a scary movie, remember?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said. He looked a bit uncomfortable in the theater seat. I was glad I could lift the armrest to give him a bit of breathing room. Wes let out a sigh of contentment. I smiled a little.

I liked that Wes needed more room in a movie theater seat. I liked that he liked to eat. I liked that he was bigger…but I liked that about Dante as well. I thought that they were both incredibly handsome, both very sexy, both really sweet.

I watched the movie and actually forgot the whole Wes/Dante problem. Wes put his arm on the top of my seat and I liked it. I leaned into his hard/soft body and felt his mellow breathing.

He smelled really good, like active sport deodorant. He was warm and hard and soft at the same time. Once the film ended, I waited for Dante and Tony to leave. We followed about two minutes after.

I was glad not to have been spotted, but I felt awful. It was only a little bit before ten, so I couldn’t go home yet.

I was pretty sure my date was over. Wes slipped his large meaty hand into mine as we walked to his truck in the darkness of the parking lot. It was like total déjà vu.

"What time do ya have to be home?" he asked. I guess my date wasn't over. I smiled.

"My mom said not to come home before midnight. She's having "adult" company." We both laughed. "But, I mean, if you have to go I can find someplace to hang out."

"Do you wanna come to my place?" he asked. "I mean, just until I can take you home..." he laughed nervously.

"If you wouldn't mind," I said. "That'd be really nice of you." He drove and we didn't really say anything. I thought that it was really sweet how bashful he was around me. He pulled into his driveway fifteen minutes after ten.

"My grandparents are prolly sleeping," he said. "My room is up the stairs." We walked up the stairs and entered his bedroom. It was technically the attic and the ceiling seemed a bit low for someone as tall as he was. "Uh, sorry it's kinda messy."

It was a little untidy, but it was mainly clothing thrown about on the bed and near the closet. I think he might've been picking out what to wear tonight. He wore a blue t-shirt under a darker blue flannel shirt. He also had on blue jeans and a pair of boots.

"It's fine," I said. "My room is just as bad. I was picking out my clothes for tonight and I threw a bunch of stuff everywhere." He smiled widely before hastily agreeing.

"Are you hungry?" he asked. "My Gran made a pie this afternoon." I didn't want any pie, but I kind of wanted him to. I wanted to see him eat again. "I...I could get you some, if you wanted it."

"I'll take a small piece...if you're getting any." He went to get us some pie and I sat on his bed. I could hear him coming back up the stairs; his footsteps were loud and thunderous.

He had two plates, both with gigantic slices of pie. "Uh, thanks...," I said, knowing I wouldn't be able to finish such a colossal slice of pie.

He ate his quickly as he sat next to me on his bed. I ate about a fourth of mine before he looked over at me. "Is it too much?" he asked. "I made your piece smaller than mine...so I figured it was only a little." I laughed.

"Will you finish it off for me?" I asked. He nodded and took the plate from my hand. He gobbled down the rest of my pie quickly. I glanced around his room. He had a desktop computer and an empty fish tank. I saw some free weights and laughed at the thought of ever wanting to lift weights. I was such a pansy.

I turned towards him suddenly. He looked at me, blue eyes sparkling. I wanted to kiss him and taste the pie on his breath. "Do you remember when...when you kissed me and told me never to tell anyone or you'd beat me up?" I asked. His face reddened and he looked away from me.

"That's so embarrassing Harvey...," he said, voice shaking a little. "You're the...the only person I've ever kissed before." My face reddened this time. He looked at me again. "Can I kiss you now?" he asked. I nodded. He leaned over and kissed me.

I leaned into him as we continued to kiss. His lips were soft and warm. He leaned farther into me and I felt his hand on my chest. It was like a bear paw or something, with the size of it. His hand was just as warm as his lips. I fell back as he kissed me. My hand found his beefy chest and worked its way down to his stomach. He had a nice round belly that added to the air of masculinity that surrounded him.

His hand traveled to the button on his jeans and I started freaking out. His bear paws reached for my jeans button and popped it open, albeit non-skillfully. "We...Wes...," I started. His hand actually went into my shirt this time, his palm actually touching my skin. "I...I'm not...stop...please."

He sat up, short of breath."I...I'm sorry Harvey." He was always apologizing. "I guess I should take ya home now, huh?" He laughed and brushed his hair down. He stood up and buttoned his pants, with some effort.

He took me home after that and I didn't know why I was so freaked out. I had thought about Dante, sure, but that shouldn't have mattered. It shouldn't have mattered!

So after that Wes didn't talk to me really. He'd get all red-faced and a disappointed look would cover his face. Dante was just as silent.

After a whole month of bullshit I went to sit with Dante again. He looked at me and angrily took a bite of a pretty big sandwich.

"Did I do something?" I asked. I knew I had done something; I just wanted to talk about it.

"You lied to me," he said. "And the worst part is...you even went to see the same movie we were going to go see." He saw me. I had thought I gotten away with it, but I hadn't. He saw me and I was a liar.

"Dante," I started. He bit off another bite of the sandwich, which was diminishing quickly. "I was going to..."

"Nope, I don't want to hear it Harvey." He chugged his soda before standing up. "If you and blond boy want to hook up it's none of my business. I just wish I knew you didn't actually like me and I was just some joke."

He stormed off, dumping his trash and making his way over to the cafeteria line. He was getting more food?

He was wearing that pair of jeans that I thought was loose fit. They didn't fit the same. His butt seemed bigger and there seemed to be less fabric around his thighs. His belly poked out, drawing attention because of his liking for smaller t-shirts. He was getting larger and it turned me on. But I liked Wes...I thought I did...or did I like Dante?

I did like Dante. I had liked him, what was different? Wes was tossed into the equation, that's what. "Mom, I'm home," I called. She was baking, which she seemed to do more often.

"Harvey, great. You're home," she said. I looked at the large pink box on the table. I opened it. There must've been at least twenty cupcakes in it. "I need you to take that over to Paul's. It's Dante's birthday and I wanted to make sure it was a happy one." I sighed. It was his birthday today and we got into a fight? Well...an even bigger fight.

"Yeah, sure," I said, picking up the box.

"Oh, and guess what?" she asked, and I already knew she was going to tell me. She held out her hand, a rock the size of Texas on her ring finger. I almost dropped the box of cupcakes.

"Holy shit," I said. She laughed. "Wh...when did this happen?" I asked.

"It happened today at lunch. Paul is so sweet and he...knows how to treat a lady." She sighed happily. "We're having a little party Saturday. It'll be us and the Kinkles. I invited some of the ladies from work, the Lennox's." Wes's family? Would he be coming as well? I hoped he would, but hoped he wouldn't. "Take the cupcakes! We'll take later."

I left out and took the cupcakes to Dante's house. He answered the door and looked at me scornfully. "What's up brother?" I said nervously. We would be brothers soon. "Happy birthday!"

"Don't call me brother, it sounds racially insensitive coming from you." I handed him the box of cupcakes. He opened it and took one out. He bit into it, some icing resting on his nose. "Thanks for the cupcakes though." He closed the door.

"Our parents are getting married!" I shouted. I stood there for a moment. I had the feeling things weren't going to work out between Dante and me. I decided to go and see Wes. I wasn't going to just let both of them ignore me.

I told my mom I was using the car. I rarely drove and I was really bad at it. I was always so nervous. I put my seatbelt on and placed my hands at ten and two. "Don't crash," I repeated to myself over and over again. I pulled out of the driveway and made my way to Wes's house.

I was there in about twenty minutes and I pulled up their long driveway. The garage was open. I put the car in park. I didn't crash. I got out and saw it was Wes in the garage. Of course he was lifting weights, looking all gorgeously hunky and stuff.

"Uh, Wes...," I called as I approached. He looked at me with his beautiful blue eyes and gave me a half-smile. It felt like he didn't want to see me. "Can we talk please?"

"Yeah...sure," he said. He stood up from the weight bench and I got a boner. His beefy body glistened with a light layer of sweat. He walked over towards me, his arms not touching his sides, because he seemed to walk in such a way that suggested he couldn't put them down if he tried.

His belly jutted out in front of him in a nice round sphere. I wondered if he had eaten recently. His thighs were massive and his chest looked solid. He was a behemoth...that was for sure. "Did I do something to make you mad at me?" I asked.

"Why would you think that?" he asked. He was so handsome. I couldn't stop staring at him.

"You just ignore me again and you don't say anything to me in Art. I...is it because I freaked out on our date. I just was really nervous and...and...I'm sorry." I was rambling and he was looking at me and I just needed to give up on the dating game and join a monastery.

"I thought ya were made at me," he said. "I was being so dumb and aggressive and I thought you thought I was just some idiot trying to screw ya on the first date." I wish he'd put a shirt on so I could form sentences.

"I really like you Wes," I said. He smiled.

"I...I really like you too Ha...Harvey." I loved how he was just a big softie. "Can I kiss you?" he asked. I walked into his slightly sweaty body and he leaned down a little to kiss me. I liked the way he smelled. It was slightly musky, but I could still totally smell his active sport deodorant.

"Are you coming to my mom's little engagement announcement dinner on Sunday?" I asked.

"She's getting married?" he asked. I nodded. "Who's the guy?"

"Dr. Kinkle...Dante's, uh, dad," I told him. "Wes..."

"Yeah Harvey?" I was still holding onto him. He could probably snap me in half if he didn't like what I was about to say. I told him everything about Dante and me and how we kissed and how I blew him off for our date and that I was a terrible person. I didn't want to be a liar. I didn't want Wes to think that about me.


He didn't say anything for a while. He didn't break my spine, so that was a good sign, but his hands shook slightly. I had upset him. I hurt his feelings. He let me go and stood there in front of me, all hulking and kind of frightening. "Wes...I...I'm sorry."

"I'm not mad," he said. "It's just...do you still like him?" Did I? I didn't think I did. I smiled to myself. I was over Dante...and besides, he was my brother.

"I like you Wes," I said. "I don't think I like him like that anymore." Wes smiled and kissed me. He'd be over my house on Sunday...along with Dante. I just hoped Dante and I could be friends.

"I love you Harvey." Those words lingered for a moment. He said that he loved me. I almost cried and I thought about my parents. My mom said my dad stayed here in our town when she said those words. They were like a trap...keeping me here when in only a few months I wanted to leave more than anything.

"Wes...I...I can't say that to you," I said. His face fell. "Not here...not in this town." He looked at me. "I don't want to stay here, do you? Have you ever even considered leaving?"

"Of course I have Harvey. I'm gay. You can't be gay and happy here."

"Then let's leave!" I exclaimed. "Why should we have to stay here? Why can't me and you go somewhere nicer and be happy there? I want to play the cello, Wes. I want to play the goddam cello!"

"Then you can play the goddam cello!" he shouted. "We can leave. We can go wherever you want to go and I'll be there for you Harvey. I'll be there, lovin' you like I always have!" His breathing was deep. He grabbed my arms and pulled me into his body forcefully. He kissed me like a lunatic and it was something I always wanted.

His stomach was slightly less sweaty, but still just as large. He was honest to god the man I loved and I knew he was. I didn't need anybody else. I had Wes and we were going to leave and be happy and I was going to play my cello. Wes was going to let me play my cello and we'd find something he was passionate about and he'd do that.

I wanted us to eat pie together and see movies together and kiss and have sex without me freaking out and it could all happen somewhere else. We'd be leaving and facing the world together and we'd be happy, me and my blue eyed, puppy dog.


The End!